Why Cant I just Fan Boy over Harley Quinn?

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Well it’s been a while since I talked about Batman, so lets talk  about his antagonist’s sweet heart, and my comic book crush Harley Quinn. Oh wait I cant, because my crush has been high jacked by so many people I cant talk about her in peace.

I mentioned in my post about the Joker’s identity that as a kid I had a little crush on Harley Quinn in the Batman The Animated series. When I was a little kid people throught it was weird I was attracted to her, but based on the depictions of her in The Arkaim City video game, The suiside squad depiction of her, and her own comic book line, clearly I wasn’t the only one that was fanboying over her.

 

side note always make sure safe search is on before google searching her name for research purposes from now on. But I’m getting side tract, with Harley Quinn being in the upcoming Suicide Squad movie her fan base has grow from guys obsessing over her to a wide demographic of fans. whenever the fan base for any character of media grows this means both good and bad things. This mostly depends on who the new fans are, and how they choose to display their appreciation for what they’re obsession over. unfortunately the growing fandom of Harley Quinn is not as positive as I would like.

The first group of fans I personally cant stand are the feminists, mostly the ones that think she’s a feminist role model. I’m probably upsetting people when I say, I’m not a fan of modern feminists. I especially don’t like the feminsits that try to make charectors or sometimes even entire television series and movies into allegories for feminism. Ever here the saying “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”? well its very true for feminists more often than they might want to admit. There seems to be this idea that Harley Quinn seems to be a feminist icon, because she’s a doctor, and escaped an abusive relationship with the Joker, and they’re worried that she will be overly sexualized in the Suisdie Squad movie.

Now I’m just sitting here thinking to myself “Have you even read her comic book series?” I mean that’s kind of a big thing about Harley Quinn’s character. In the Comic book line she kicks a guy off the Broklyn Bridge because he said she wasn’t that hot. There were two other guys with him too, they wanted to be smoshered to death by her breasts, and throught she was really hot. No this  is not my fanfiction! I resent tthat accusation by the way, this is cannon.

One of the biggest things about Harley Quinn is that she sort of likes to be sexualized. want to have a fun drinking game that will have you bpreety hammered in a few minute? go buy a volume pack of Harley Quinn comics and take a drink whenever she seduces someone as a main point in the story. I know what you’re thinking to yourself “that’s just some man, living his fantasies through Harley. If a woman was writing her comic she would be completely different.” I got two ways to kill that argument in its tracts.. the first argument is that I never worked for D.C. comics, so clearly no one is living out any fantasies with Harley. My second argument is that Amanda Conner is the head writer for Harley Quinn series, so your argument is invalid angrey feminists.

The second group of people stoping me from fran boying in peiece are creepy dudes. I don’t know why but the majority of Harley Quinn fans before she got popular seem to be creepy dudes that draw very provocative images. I remember going to a Magic the Gathering tournament one time and I say some guy with a tattoo of her being lead on a lease by the Joker. I’m just ssitting here thinking to myself, ” dude that’s forever. if you’re getting a tattoo do you really want it to be cartoon bondage tattoo?” The problem I have with these people is that I often get grouped with them when people talk about Harley Quinn.

Know here’s my proposition for all these people preventing me from enjoying Harley Quinn, just leave me alone. You can all go obsesses over whether or not she’s a feminist icon or not, and enjoy your porn of her, and I’ll just sit here and read my Harley Quinn comics while I wait for the Suicide Squad Movie. We don’t make it hard to enjoy other female comic book characters, why should Harley be any different?

Fact or Crap: Frozen and Tangled theory.

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There has been this theory going around that Rapunzel from Tangled and Elsa from Frozen are sisters, maybe even twin sisters.  This has been going around for a while now, if you haven’t heard the theory yet lets take a look.

lets start with what we know for a fact, Tangled and Frozen do take place in the same universe. It’s evident in the song First Time in Forever when Anna runs past Flint and Rapunzel.

We also know this is after Tangled because her hair is brown, and she appears to married to Flint meaning at least one year has past. Rapunzel is most likely upgraded to queen status at this point, which would explain why she is in Arindel to wish Elsa good luck.

now the harder part, are they sisters but more specifically twin sisters? Well lets take a look at some photos. Rapunzel and Elsa do appear very similar. With blond hair, and other similar facial features. Looking at photos of Elsa and Anna, you quickly notice they look more like sisters than Anna and Elsa.

Okay, they look similar, but the connections stop there. Well no, Rapunzel and Elsa also share similar pasts of being born with some mysteries power. Rapunzel’s powers come from the Sun, and grant her the ability to heal anyone who hears her sing, and can even save someone from near death. Elsa’s powers are control of ice, and connected to emotion. Elsa is also able to give life and healing to people similarly to Rapunzel. Elsa saves Anna from dying, and is able to create life as depicted with the numerous snow creatures in Frozen.

It’s highly possible that Elsa’s powers are also connected to song as well. In Frozen Elsa has the best control over her powers when singing, just like Rapunzel. lets examine Frozen Fever. The short is actually a  music video where Elsa sings the majority of time, and as a result snow creatures.

 

we don’t know the source of the powers, other than Elsa was born with also born with them, just like Rapunzel. This might look like a coincidence but if Elsa was born with powers why doesn’t Anna? The answer is simple, they’re not sisters.

Now lets look at it Tangled. when Rapunzel is born she is kidnapped by a witch. what if there were two princesses, and as a result of one being kidnapped the second is sent to live in a far away kingdom, until her sister is found.

This all sounds convincing, but let me show the evidence that kills this theory. the reason why Rapunzel’s hair is so long is if it is ever cut, she loses her power, and it turns brown. By the time Tangled happened Rapunzel’s hair stretched for what seemed like miles. Elsa’s hair is shorter than Anna’s. That means Elsa is a natural blond, unlike Rapunzel. in the whole Tangled movie, their isn’t even one hint that their is a second Princess, even if you take the exposition at the beginning as Flint only saying what he knows, we see a mosaic of baby Rapunzel and her parents but not Elsa.

with that in mind lets get a ruling. are Frozen and Tangled in the same universe? yes, they do exist together. Are Rapunzel and Elsa sisters, and do they share powers? they cant be sisters, and their powers are not connected. But that’s my opinion, tell me in the comment section what you think

 

Batman; The Killing Joke.

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The killing Joke is a very interesting one shoot Batman Story. The story revolves around the joker, most importantly how he became the Joker.

The story starts with Batman telling the Joker he knows that one will eventually kill the other. Well Bruce, at least you know will be wasting your life on this guy. We are also treated to flashbacks throughout the comic of the Joker. Don’t worry, Batman fans this is only a possible backstory. The Joker Himself Doesn’t fully understand his own past. The origin story is actually pretty good, but lets consider it a what if story.

The joker was a down on his luck comedian. They don’t give us a name, so we can assume that even in the messed up imagination of the joker, his own imagination is kind of awkwardly skewed in some way. The Joker gets involved with a gang to break into a card factory to get money to support his wife and unborn child. He goes disguised as the Red Hood, and falls in a pit of acid, after a scuffle with Batman.

 

The combination of losing his wife, and the accident, caused The Joker to lose his sanity. This is what caused him to become the villain we all know and love. I actual really like this possible backstory, it fits the Joker’s personality quite well. It’s just as insane as the mind that tells it, but still seems intelligent enough to frighten you a little.

The story is also propelled with the Joker breaking into commissioner Gordon’s  house. Gordon is kicking himself in the back for allowing the Joker to escape, again.  The joker kidnaps him and paralyzes his daughter, Barbra Gordon A.K.A. Bat Girl. the joker then tortures commissioner Gordon for several hours until Batman rescues him.

without giving anything away, I will just say this comic ending is very weird. depending how you want to view it, it will either be an extremely satisfying climax or a disappointing ending. I like this because it lives so much vagueness on how Batman choice to handle this confrontation.  Did the Joker finally cause Batman to snap, and ended his life? I cant say for sure. If you love the Joker, then you will love this comic.

Team America

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Previously on The Shrimp. ” To all my readers in England this [Austin Powers] is how we view you guys.”

*Later in England* Popular blooger known as The Shrimp has insulted all of England, this is a decleration of war on him.

Well I guess I need to write something making fun of America before  I get nuked.

Now if only I had something that glorifies all stereotypes about America. What sterotypes am I talking about? well …. this is a good start.

dempsey-destroying-waffles

Oh, yes the ten things us Americans like the most.

10. explosions

9. explosions

8. explosions

7. explosions

6. explosions

5. explosions

4. explosions

3. explosions

2. explosions

  1. Red, white, and bluecaptainamerica1_zps8c295f96

Go away Captain America, you’re not the stereotype I’m looking for.

I need something that is huge, and can draw more readerss from England in.

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YES! Team America is the biggest satire of American stereotypes. I’m deffently reviewing this movie.

The Plot

Team America is the story of the greatest Broadway Actor in the world, Gary Johnston to join Team America, to take down a ring of terrorists. If they don’t Korea will do an attack that is basically 9/11 X 1,000,000. The movie is basically a giant satire of American stereotypes

highlights of these stereotypes include,

  • blowing up everything in sight.
  • a theme song that consist of the phrase “America! F***k Yeah!

 

just look at that great animation. Anyway, the animation for this is something I should talk about. This movie was made by Matt Stone and Trey Parker, who are famous for their show South Park. They specialize in making purposely terrible animation for a more humorous effect. In this case it was done with puppets. I like this because it makes the movie a little more charming, with their movements.

Honestly this is hilarious. I find it a good farce about how us Americans see ourselves, and maybe how other nations view us. A group of war loving people, going into battle without thinking sometimes. It’s definitely worth a great laugh, I defiantly recommend it.

How To Defeat Superman

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Hello loyal readers. Lets talk about one of the most controversial subjects in the comic book community. “How to kill Superman.” This has become so controversial for two reasons, the upcoming movie Batman V.S. Superman, and the Death Battle video, Goku V.S. Superman. This has raised the question, how unstoppable is this guy?

Many people have come to the point where he cant be killed. I think there are a few ways someone could take down Superman. For this article I will follow the same rules as the death battle video.

  1. Original writing holds most weight, and I will use only official guides to make claims about him.
  2. Every claim I make about his powers will be backed by the super hero database. (http://www.superherodb.com/superman/10-791/powers/)
  3. I will assume a no holds bar battle on both ends, with a few exceptions.

Scenario 1: Batman beats him.

Likelihood: highly unlikely but not impossible.

Batman has proven that he can hold his own with any member of the Justice League, despite lacking powers. officially he, as well as all members of the Justice League has access to a piece of kryptonite to kill superman, if he ever goes rogue. There is also the fact that Batman has shown he is capable of sneaking around Sueprman, and control his heartbeat to a point to were Superman can’t hear him.

There is only one small factor, they have fought before, Batman did kick Superman’s butt, but he could only do it by having help, and superman going relatively easy on him. Batman still took quit a beating, including having six ribs fracture in a single punch.

We also know Batman’s code of honor, refuses to have him kill anybody. While Batman has proven he could reach a breaking point, he most likely will hold back from killing him, unless driven over the edge.

Scenario 2: Vegeto beats him

Likelihood: much more likely than Goku alone.

For this I will assume a few things, Vegeta has full mental control of Vegeto. I will also assume they use Shenron is used to teleport them to a planet similar to Earth, but is unpopulated. we will also assume this plannet orbits a Yellow sun. under these circumstances, they could go all out, without threatening innocent lives.

Goku’s biggest draw back in this kind of fight is that he prefers a fair fight. Vegeta on the other hand is not above a dirty fight. It is most likely he wouldn’t use something like kryptonite to kill him, his pride is too big.

We do know that Vegeto, can hold his own with Maijin Buu. It would be fair to say that he could also give Superman a good fight, until he flew into the sun, like in death battle.

They could also attempt to, fight in the miniature city of Kandor. Vegeto, casues some trouble, until Superman shrinks down and loses his powers. Vegeta himself has fought people much weaker than him, so I will extend that same idea to Vegeto.

Scenerio 3: Beerus beats him.

Likelihood: extremely likely

Beerus, is a god in Dragon Ball Z, whose only reason for exsistance, is to eat and destroy everything he hates.  At only 25% strength, he can still beat Goku, in super sayan god mode.

Even if you make the argument that Superman can just fly into the sun and absorb as much energy he can, Beerus would most likely survive the heat of the sun’s rays just because he’s that strong. Burrus could also just stay on Earth and smash up the place if Superman refuses to come out and fight.

Right now he’s only way Superman could beat him is if we assume, the infinite force punch truly has an infinite force. we also have to assume that Beerus dose have a point where he can feel pain. This is unlikely because Beerus can blow up seven small planets without even trying, hit will have to be a very large amount of force.

Scenario 4 Hulk

Likelihood very likely*

*under certain circumstances.

The Hulk could hold his own with superman, based on the fact that the angrier the Hulk is the Stronger he gets. While you could make the argument that superman, also has infinite strength as well, if Hulk were to attack at night when he couldn’t absorbe the sun’s rays he would be able to use only a fininte amount of energy he absorbed. (This is why we still need fossil fuel, people.)

Lets get even more danggerus and say Hulk has a Red Lanturn ring.the ring is fueled by rage, and can also force the easier to get even angrier, and in turn much stronger. Hulk also would not hold back at all, if he were to smash Metropolis, Superman  would in turn hold back less. The Hulk’s not going to take being beaten up easily, Just ask Loki.

The thing about Superman is that he’s not suppose to be defeated, or identify in anyway. Superman is more less a god, among mortals. For all we know Superman could just not be killed, Superman is going to just get stronger every day, until the day D.C. comics decides the character is no longer selling. with that in mind the only person we know who can kill superman are his writers. we all know Aquaman cant  do it. Unless…

Nope, still not likely. Maybe you could think of something that can defeat Superman.

Top 10 Time Machines.

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Hello loyal readers. if you were like my October 21, 2015 marked Back to The Future day, a day that honored the great 80’s movie. This got me thinking what are the best time machines.

Rules.

  1. the delorean is unfortunately disqualified. considerer it a number #11 spot, but i’m a huge Back to the Future fan, and at moment its a bit to relevant for me to judge impartially. if I thought of this list sooner, I would have put it right at number one.
  2. Only, television and Movie time machines. This means the ocarina of time is disqualified.
  3. I will be weighing this list on factors including.
    1. cool looking
    2. functionality
    3. impact on time travel genre
    4. What sets it apart from other time travelers

10. The Way Back from Mr. Peabody and Sherman.

This time machine gets on the list because it’s the only one that made educating the audience it’s top priority. while coming out in a time period where animation was expected to be crap anyway, they tried hard to educate it’s audience on world history. Mr. Peabody, also gets bonus points for being the first time traveler with a bow tie.

9. The time machine, from H.G. wells the Time machine.

The time machine, by H.G. wells brought the idea of time travel to a whole new light. (side note while the original movie is good. I would personally recommend the original book first.) The time machine is interesting because it is one of the few that address the question, what if you only move through time. The two societies splitting into two opposite extremes is probably the most underused concept in time travel as of today. I really don’t know why someone bases a concept off of this, but I think it will be an interesting piece of social satire.

8. Time machine from Minute men.

I’m not going to lie, when I first say this movie as a kid, I thought it was pretty good. now after re-watching, it’s still okay. If you missed this TV special, it follows three high school students build a time machine. they then use this machine to travel back in time to save high school students from embarrassment.

I like this time machine for a couple of reasons. The machine can only use enough energy to travel back 48 hours. You don’t see many time machines that purposely put faults into their machine. I’m looking at you Doctor Who.

The movie’s climax is when, all the time travel, caused all the pseudo-science to collapse onto itself to become a black hole. For a Disney Special, it’s really good, I personally recommend it if you have not seen it.

7. The Phone booth from Bill and Ted’s excellent Adventure.

Bill and Ted must travel through time to save the future! how are they going to do that? By studying for their history final. this movie is hilarious first off, and the telephone booth, is clearly playing homage to the doctor, which was still really obscure in America at the time. This movie, is definitely a great campy film. I really like the scenes when it travels, it’s just missing the whooshing sound the TATUS make from, a flat satire of it. without giving to much away with what happens, lets just say, the phone booth is bigger on the inside.

6. The Book, from Time Warp Trio.

Time Warp Trio is criminally underrated. This short lived series, aired on Discovery kids, until it was eventually bought by Hasbro, and renamed The Hub. The series followed a group of kids that receive a mysterious book. whenever the book is opened they are sent back to a random point in history. The series like all shows on the network at the time wanted to educate children, but this show took itself seriously. with a complex back story that Game of Thrones fans would get confused by.

The book itself is interesting, because it’s the only one on the list that is actually the universe. i’m serious, this book is actually the recording of all of human history, past present and future. seeing that it is a book this means one of two things. The book is either made of infinity pages, and can compress itself over time, or the book is a recording of the destruction of the world. man this way to serious, I need a time machine much more light hearted and upbeat.

5. the shagmobile, from Austin Power, The Spy Who Shagged Me.

,

the Delorrian might not be on the list but the satire of it is. the satire deserves a spot. The shagmobile might only be a little throw a way joked for a way to travel back in time, but it’s deign his just so eye grabbing its hard to ignore. Now I know I have a lot of readers in England, I also know you have some stereotypes about us, Americans. Well lets just say Austin powers is how we see British people sometimes.

4. the hot tub, from hot tub time machine.

The Hot tub is interesting because they never state what the cause of the time travel ability is. The machine is implied to be magic, but can only work by having Russian Red Bull poured on the control panel. I also like how it is the only machine that can make a person appear as their younger self from the point in time. I also like how the time machine is never directly stated how it works in the first movie. it kind of just does.

This movie also has Christin Glover as a bell hope in it. some might know him better as George Mcfly from Back to the Future. There has been as inside joke for fans of both movies that, George Mcfly went crazy and left his family after Marty disappeared.

3. time turner from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

The time turner is almost a deus ex machina in the Harry Potter universe. It is the only known item in the wizard world that can allow for time travel. a simple turn of the time turner allows the wearer to travel backwards one our for every turn. like all the effects in the Harry Potter movies, this was done quiet well. I didn’t like how the item was removed from the series by the next book. it was also a dick movie on Dumbledore’s part to assign a time turner to Hermione  because she signed up for to many classes. I could think of at least one thing that time turner could have been used for.

2. The TARDIS from Doctor Who.

Of course this was on the list. the TARDIS is probably the most well known time machine ever. an almost indistuctible box that is capable of traveling to almost any point in time and space. You might be a whovian or hate the show with every fiber of your being, but you cant deny that this is probably the most iconic thing in British sci-fi or even sci-fi in general.

The TARDIS is so iconic it might seem impossible to find a time machine better than it. However I did.

  1. the green Energy from Futuerama, Bender’s Big Score.

This is the best time machine because, it can travel anybody anywhere, in time and space, all you have to do is red the proper binary code. That code would be this.

File:Time code.jpg

incase you’re wondering that stands for. 1,2,3,4,5,6. the machine has the added bonus of correcting any paradox from forming. meaning that it will go out of it’s way to make sure multiple versions of the same person don’t exist at the same point. The energy also is the only one where using it risks destroying the universe.

The movie itself is also a gem in the series. I feel like this is the pint in Futerama’s timeline when they started going from good to great. if you haven’t seen this yet, I highly recommend it. the movie is so great in just a sense of mind blowing abilities.

This has been my top ten time machines. let me know in the comment section what you think the best time machines are, or what my next list should be.

Goosebumps movie reveiw

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Hello Loyal reads, guess what I watched on Friday.

Goosebumps Girl Sings - ERMAHGERD!

That’s right, the Goosebumps movie. I have to say I didn’t know what to expect from this movie going into it. The Goosebumps T.V.  series, quality was basically an elementary school play… on fire. However they were always considered  childhood favorites of many, myself included, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

the movie is about Zack Cooper moving to the small town of Madison Iowa. At first I wasn’t sure about having a high school student play the main lead at first, But at first he proves himself to be a pretty good actor, as well as all the other actors in the film. There is one scene near the end, a kid gives a really bad delivery on a line. I think this was suppose to be a not so stubble jab at the bad acting they had in the original series.

If you read my article Ten Goosebumps Books that need to make Cameos, then you know I had a lot of monsters I was hoping would appear. Unfortunately for me a lot of them didn’t appear.

However an amusement park did play a part in the movie, to that I  can only saw soon my Horrors.

The movie also explored a concept very few people think of, when they talk about the Goosebumps franchise. R.L. Stein. The author was so reclusive, that for years people thought he was actually a women! seriously look it up, this was a legit theory for a while ! So many people, just pictured a dark, depressed man, basically what people see Stephan King as. The movie really plays with that myth. All this horror writing, made him become a very horrifying person as well to an extent. over all this movie did a great job at displaying the nostalgic creativity that is Goosebumps. This movie is great, I do hope they make a sequel eventually. However it doesn’t seem to likely at this point, with the movie making back less than have its budget at this point. The movie, seems to be doing well with audiences at the moment hopefully this will encourage people to go to it in the upcoming week. On the bright side it did get the Goosebumps back into popularity again. the last time I was at a Walmart several different books from the original series were available.

If I could give the produers one piece of advice, if you want to make a sequal, put the original theme song into the credits. several people, myself included sat through the entire credits just to hear that theme song that, can only be describe by, giving you goose bumps. Hopefully this movie will get a sequel, or at the very least have someone make a made for T.V.  movie  eventually on the same level of quality.